There's this guy who helps out with the race team who I've been working with a little for the past couple of days. He gave me a nickname, which I hate (both the nickname, and the fact that I hate when people give me a nickname I never wanted in the first place) and I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much.
I finally sussed it out, earlier today, while I was driving home from an excellent lunch.
I detest assumed intimacy. You know when someone you really hardly know makes a joke with you, and you think, "You know, if one of my friends said that, I'd probably laugh, but for some reason, my skin is crawling because this guy just said it." It's not that it's creepy, exactly, but it feels like a minor violation of some kind.
Maybe it's just me, but I really think there's a moment in every relationship when the line is crossed—when it's okay to say some things, to make that joke, to tease someone a little. It's a very definite line for me, perhaps more real than most people's.
That's why the nickname rankles. That guy doesn't know me well enough to give me a teasing sort of nickname. Every time he says it, I just bristle inside. But you know, I'm in customer service part of my day, so I pretty much have to smile and be nice to him anyway.
Being an adult. It sucks.
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Yep. It's like letting someone into your personal space, or circle of friends, or some other kind of area measurement metaphor. Some people can get in quick, some take some time to earn their stripes. and some never get in no matter how long or how hard they try.
The problem with this, I think, is when you think an acquaintance is there, and you tease like hell, and maybe they don't think you're there, and you wonder if you went too far. I think this is exacerbated by relationships between genders, which are more difficult. Mostly, I just wanted to say "exacerbated."
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