Trade You My Lead for Your Oreos

Who in their right mind would decide to produce those soft vinyl lunchboxes for kids with popular characters on them and then shoot 'em full of lead.

One of the best things about back to school for me every year was getting to pick out my new lunchbox. It was a serious decision; you would be stuck with that character all year, for better or for worse. Pick something lame and you could get teased. Pick something cool and you got to watch kids look longingly at the picture on your lunchbox all year.

Now there's kids out there getting lead on their hands and food while they're trying to trade away that egg salad sandwich. What I don't know is if this was a new development or if those boxes have always contained lead. I suppose you can take a "hey, we lived through it and we're okay" outlook on it, but look at the list of symptoms of low-level lead poisoning:

"Lead poisoning can reportedly lower intelligence, cause mental retardation, memory problems, depression, fatigue, hyperactivity, aggression, hearing loss, liver or kidney damage, osteoporosis, high blood pressure and anemia."

I mean, do any of those sound unfamiliar? Aren't those most of the conditions targetted by the drugs they market to us in those vague commercials with pictures of couples holding hands or guys playing tennis?