The most difficult thing I've found with the B is that sometimes, you have to let her cry.We came downstairs a few minutes ago. She'd just finished eating and I changed her, then we migrated to the living room. I needed to pay the bills (let me just herald right now how much easier this is with BofA online bill pay) and I can't really do that and hold her at the same time as bill paying is a two-handed effort, even online.
She's in her playyard bassinet, where I put her as soon as we came down here. She laid there for a few minutes, then decided she was lonely (again, she's fed, she's changed, she's not sick, and she's not bored, as we played for awhile upstairs and she'd started to do that gaze avoidance thing little babies do when they don't want to play anymore). She yawned several times while I changed her, and I know she's drowsy enough to sleep.
However, she took a left turn at sleep and proceeded directly to, "I'm lonely; pick me up, dammit!" and cried the most heartbreaking keening little cries. Not the screaming she does when she needs a change or a meal, but sad little whimpery noises because she's not with me, even though she is close enough to where I'm sitting that I can literally reach in and touch her foot.
Do you have any concept (many of you do, I know) how difficult it is to let this little person you're responsible for cry when all they want is for you to hold them? The only thing wrong in her life right this second is that she's not on my lap. I want so badly to fix it, but she'll never learn to comfort herself if I don't leave her, at least for a little while before I relent.
I liked it better when she was a teeny newborn and the credo was that 'you can't spoil a newborn.' This whole teaching her to tolerate being on her own at times thing is not my favorite part.
(For the record, she has settled herself down once, but has now started crying again. I don't know if I should pick her up now, since she did get a little practice calming herself, or if I should let her try it again.)
2 comments:
Yeah, I have a very good concept of how that works, but I can't tell you because I promised Cheryl I wouldn't.
Just remember that you feel that way because you love her so very much.
For those of you following along at home, I picked her up the third time she cried after she calmed herself. She did really well, and I did the best I could.
It took less than five seconds of holding her before she calmed. That makes it harder to not fix it right away, but it's not what's best for her in the long run.
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