Must Be A Slow News Day

So, I'm lying here trying to put the B back to sleep so I can get up and get in the shower (no jokes about not getting up until 11:00 am--how many of you were still up at 11:30 the night before, got up again for an hour and a half at 1:30 am, then at 5:30 am for three hours, and then again at 9:30 am and then had to get up for good?) and watching Ellen dance. Yes, it's very housewifey to have daytime shows you watch every day, but I like the Ellen Show and I was glad it was on, as it helps me stay awake even though I'm groggy and fighting trying to wake up.

So she's just starting her monologue when the local news breaks in.

"Oh my," I thought. "I hope everything's okay." The same possibilities that go through my mind every time the news breaks into regular programming chorus line through my thoughts: nuclear war, big weather event coming my way, big car accident that I hope no one I know was in, or police car chase.

Well, this was none of those things. Would you like to know what it is? It's the world's most boring, low-key dude being appointed the new head coach of the local NFL team.

Are you effing serious? It's been 10 minutes and he's still mumbling about stuff on my TV. I've seen his resume on-screen three times, I can only assume because he's really boring to watch. I once worked in an office run by a really soft-spoken guy (who was actually a dick, but with a soft-spoken fakey exterior) and he had staff meetings every Monday morning. They were impossible to stay awake for. This guy has even less charisma. This is not because I am angry about breaking into my show. I'm only mildly annoyed. What I'm mainly annoyed about is the poor quality of information they have used to replace the show that was doing a very efficient job of entertaining me.

Now the local reporter is recapping what the head coach has said, and I can see the new coach still talking in the background. Apparently someone in the news room realized what a yawner they had on their hands and told their guy to get on the stick.

Good lord, B's eyes were wide open a few minutes ago and now she's out like a light. Thank you, head coach guy. Maybe I should have TiVoed this for all the times I have trouble getting her to go down for a nap.