Crappy Links Post

I did things today, but they were fairly mundane. Grocery store. Drugstore. Bank. (With the B, though, in my front carrier.) Everyone said how cute she was. Nice day, but unremarkable in many ways. So, I bring to you, the best of the internets as chosen by me off the top of my head.

If you have Windows, take a gander at this shitty DRM that might install itself along with your games and slowly break your CD drive. Then read about how those jackals attacked Cory D. at Boing Boing for posting an article about their shitty DRM. Apparently they think it's against the law to post information about their unwanted "product". All the games that utilize it are now on my "don't buy" list.

You are apparently not allowed to tell anyone that you're gay in WoW, because that might cause them to call you names and break the sexual harassment policy, which would apparently be your fault and not theirs. I hear tell that the GLBT (gay/lesbian/bi/trans) friendly guilds were formed because those players were finding themselves harassed in "regular" guilds. Then in the very act of making people aware that safe havens existed for them, they were warned for violating the sexual harassment policy, because mentioning that some GLBT people might play the game somewhere apparently harassed the straight players. Give me a break. This makes me proud that my account is parked. Policies like this will keep it that way, even if I ever do find time to play again, I'll play something else.

For those of you still playing WoW, though, I bring you one guy's great amount of work making a Google map app of the maps of WoW.

For you Mac folks, a good article from digg about must-have OS X apps.

Did Google Maps find evidence of flying cars?

Kevin Smith to MPAA: Suck it!

IMDB added what are basically really nice episode guides to every tv series page in the database. Here is a link to the main M*A*S*H page. Click the season numbers on that page to check it out. To the trivia people: this might be good for trivia weekend, no?

All right, that should be enough linky fun. Hopefully there's something there for everyone, and hopefully this is not all old news to CK. Most of it probably, but hopefully there was at least one new one in there.

The Wrong Way

I have gained three pounds since having the baby.

I don't know if you know, but you're supposed to lose weight after you have the baby. This won't do. I finally had to relent and buy two pairs of pants I can wear now, though I said I wanted to make things as inconvenient as possible as an incentive to get the weight off again.

Oh, I have a stack of excuses. I put on weight during the pregnancy because of the riduculous amount of stress we were under at the time. I was lucky to keep down any food at all, never mind if it was high in calories. Things, of course, are still sort of stressful now, and it's easy to justify a treat here and there (and everywhere, it seems) to compensate myself for lack of sleep or time. It's faster to order pizza or stick a frozen one in the oven than it is to make a healthy dinner.

Those are excuses. But one's body doesn't take excuses. The body does math, and that's it. Number of calories in, number of calories out, then add or subtract from body weight. There is no negotiation with the body's math, so it doesn't matter how justified you are, or how much you felt like you didn't have any choice.

It starts today. I'll jog if I have to. B's too little for a jogging stroller, but I can still DDR. And DDR I will. I had the frustrating experience of being able to read the steps in an eight-footer last night, but I couldn't make my body do them. Suck. This will not be tolerated.

The First of Many Leaps

So, I've been stretching out the B's 0-3 month size onesies for the last week or so when they're fresh out of the laundry so they'll be long enough to fit comfortably. The mister mentioned something yesterday about how we'd need to get her the next size up soon, and I replied that I already had them. (I intend to have a full wardrobe one size up from her current one ready at all times while she's still less than 2 years old, so I can buy things as they are good deals or on sale.)

This morning, I looked at her in my favorite "Baby Bunny" little pink onesie and saw that the neck was pulling down quite a bit. I had the oddest aversion to getting out the first of the 3 month onesies to hold up in front of her, and I realized after I did it that it was because I was afraid it would fit her.

It does.

Why is she growing up so fast? Not that I'm not a fan of her sleeping for another five hour stretch followed by another four hour stretch overnight. There are good things happening with her getting bigger.

But her never wearing that baby bunny onesie again isn't one of them. I'm not taking that to the used baby clothes store for credit. I may take some of the other stuff, but not that one. They'll probably have to bury me with that thing. I wonder if I can make a pillow or something out of it.

Surprisingly Clearheaded

You don't really know how foggyheaded you are until you are clearheaded again. I slept nearly four hours IN A ROW last night before I had to get up to feed and change the B, then got about three hours in a row after she went back to sleep.

It almost doesn't matter how much sleep you get if you only get about an hour or an hour and a half in one go, day after day after day.

Ah, and I also finally jumped through all the bloody hoops you have to jump through in these parts to get my car registered and get real plates and all that mess. So take that, bitches! I'm legal! (maniacal laughter)

So, all in all, not a bad day. And the mister's 34th birthday, to boot! Everyone say happy birthday to him! Whee!

DDR for the Lazy

OK, even when I was pregnant, I wouldn't have played DDR this way.

I am playing again, by the way. I'll be 1337 again as soon as possible.

Alarming

So, our alarm clock went off at 6-whatever this morning. I have been reacting to waking up oddly recently, mostly because of how disoriented you get when you don't ever sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time.

This morning, my thought upon waking to the alarm was, "Oh my god, how is the baby making that noise!?!"

Now, she makes some funny noises, but if she ever makes one like this alarm clock, I'm calling the doctor.

Ha Ha

I'm a blogging fool today, but I saw this and had to pass it on.

It's a certain company's name which somehow became a dictionary.com entry.

For heaven's sake, nameless web employee: bitter much? (hee)

Gas, Gas, Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

As the range that came with our new house is so old that the owner's manual was probably written in Sanskrit, we decided to use a $100 major department store known for their appliances (who wants to get sued with using company names?) gift card we got for Christmas and put it toward a new range. We bought it Monday night and arranged for it to be delivered today.

The guys brought it here on schedule, but informed me that they couldn't hook it up because we have copper piping for our gas line and they're not allowed to unhook or hook to that—get this—because copper pipe bends and cracks too easily and they can't afford the liability for the leaks they might cause.

"So, hmmm," I thought. "What about the way you just wrenched my current range away from the wall, bending the pipe? Could I have a leak?"

After the guy made me talk to customer service, which told me the same thing, only over the telephone, I got out the carbon monozide/gas detector and walked it over the range.

BEEEEP!

(sigh)

Fire drill. Call the gas company to report the leak. Dress the baby warmer. Get the stroller. Open the garage door and get outside with the SIX WEEK OLD BABY who could easily DIE from a TINY amount of gas. Call wonderful husband to call other people we know and secure someone to come over and help me wait outside with the baby, and then wait for the trusty nephew to come over to do just that.

The gas company guy comes out, and I explained what happened. He got out his more accurate tester and waved it hither and yon near the range—nothin'. Went into the basement—zilch.

So now I'm feeling dumb, except that my tester still indicated a leak. The gas company guy even tried it and it did the same thing. So was the detector faulty?

The repairman, for completeness, went to the outside meter to test. Leak. He's still trying to find the cause (it's a small leak, but it's still AMBIENT GAS in my HOUSE!) but it could easily turn out to have been something completely unrelated to the department store delivery guys coming out and pulling the range away from the wall. It may have just been a slow, steady leak that we might not have found out about until it got worse, otherwise.

Moral of the story: If you have gas in your house, you should probably just chicken little it once a year and schedule someone to come out and make sure your shit is not about to blow up. 'Nuff said.

Must Be A Slow News Day

So, I'm lying here trying to put the B back to sleep so I can get up and get in the shower (no jokes about not getting up until 11:00 am--how many of you were still up at 11:30 the night before, got up again for an hour and a half at 1:30 am, then at 5:30 am for three hours, and then again at 9:30 am and then had to get up for good?) and watching Ellen dance. Yes, it's very housewifey to have daytime shows you watch every day, but I like the Ellen Show and I was glad it was on, as it helps me stay awake even though I'm groggy and fighting trying to wake up.

So she's just starting her monologue when the local news breaks in.

"Oh my," I thought. "I hope everything's okay." The same possibilities that go through my mind every time the news breaks into regular programming chorus line through my thoughts: nuclear war, big weather event coming my way, big car accident that I hope no one I know was in, or police car chase.

Well, this was none of those things. Would you like to know what it is? It's the world's most boring, low-key dude being appointed the new head coach of the local NFL team.

Are you effing serious? It's been 10 minutes and he's still mumbling about stuff on my TV. I've seen his resume on-screen three times, I can only assume because he's really boring to watch. I once worked in an office run by a really soft-spoken guy (who was actually a dick, but with a soft-spoken fakey exterior) and he had staff meetings every Monday morning. They were impossible to stay awake for. This guy has even less charisma. This is not because I am angry about breaking into my show. I'm only mildly annoyed. What I'm mainly annoyed about is the poor quality of information they have used to replace the show that was doing a very efficient job of entertaining me.

Now the local reporter is recapping what the head coach has said, and I can see the new coach still talking in the background. Apparently someone in the news room realized what a yawner they had on their hands and told their guy to get on the stick.

Good lord, B's eyes were wide open a few minutes ago and now she's out like a light. Thank you, head coach guy. Maybe I should have TiVoed this for all the times I have trouble getting her to go down for a nap.

OMFG Speak and Spell

I am reunited with my favorite toy from my youth.

Yeah, I was a geeky little kid.

I think there is an emulator for everything if you google it hard enough.

Thank You, Chuck Norris

That last post was way too serious.

Have you read the Chuck Norris facts?

One of my favorites: "Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage."

I also like: "Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. "

Ben Said It So Long Ago

Believe me, I don't spend a lot of time trolling around at the Drudge Report, but there was a link to this Al Gore (I know, I know, give it a chance though) speech transcript.

This speech puts me in the mind of a famous quote from Ben Franklin:

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

The issues addressed in the speech go far beyond any impulses we might have to barter our freedom for safety and well into the territory of how horrifying it is that those decisions are being made for us, without changing any laws or even admitting that the laws are being broken until they're presented with irrefutable evidence.

Anyone who thinks Clinton should have been impeached over lying about a blow job and doesn't think that Bush should be impeached for lying about weapons in other lands, wiretapping, and torture policies is, respectfully, a looney toon.

I take it back. Bugs Bunny is a Looney Toon (tm) and I don't want to bring an innocent rabbit into this.

Here is an excerpt from Gore's speech (if you click the link above, it's long, yes, but read it) to whet your whistle:

"It is often the case that an Executive Branch beguiled by the pursuit of unchecked power responds to its own mistakes by reflexively proposing that it be given still more power. Often, the request itself it used to mask accountability for mistakes in the use of power it already has. "

A-men brother.

Boop...BEEP...Boop...BEEP

Ah, the magic box has just reminded me that the season premiere of 24 begins this evening. I'm very excited. It's like hearing the first ratchety sounds of a roller coaster as it begins to pull you up the opening incline.

Spoilers from the commercial follow:

Seriously, look away or load another page is you don't want to read what happened in the preview commercial. I know some of you might be avoiding even the commercials...look at me lookin' out for you.

Okay, is everyone else cool? Cool.

The commercial shows Chloe calling our boy Jack on the phone (or whatever he's calling himself in his new undercover life...I'm hoping he's calling himself Jorge) and begging him to help her. She says something about how they're going to kill her and that she's the last one left.

Last one? As in, everyone else from CTU is dead? As in, Tony Almeda and Michelle are dead?

I remarked on how much that would suck, to have Tony and Michelle die offscreen like that, and the mister one-upped me.

"What if Tony's the bad guy?"

Oooh. Interesting.

The best moment last year was when it looked like Jack was effed and all we knew was that earlier he'd called someone for help but we didn't know who. Right when Jack's about to buy it, there's Tony, backlit like mad and lookin' badass with a gun in his hand.

That was so cool that, when we were playing World of Warcraft and someone would show up and save your butt when you were getting mauled by some Ogre or bear or something, I would call them Tony Almeda.

Oooh, and what if Tony's the bad guy? That would be disappointing on a gee-I-liked-that-character level, but interesting from a melodramatic perspective.

Bring on the roller coaster!

And Now, A Word About Cereal

Had the 'Skins won today (nice try, but they couldn't give every player on the Seahawks a concussion quickly enough to win the game, just their star running back) this would undoubtedly have been a post about them. As I find it boring and depressing to rehash season-ending losses, I bring you this observation about cereal.

A few weeks ago, when my mother-in-law was about to come to help with the baby, I sent my mister to the grocery store with a rather specific list I'd drawn up after looking at the weekly circular. With me not working and with the baby here, I've been trying to economize. Also, with the in-laws in the house, I wanted to have some "adult" cereal available instead of the crap we tend to buy. I therefore put the adult cereal that was on sale on the list. It's the one with the slogan, "Rice on one side, corn on the other". I'm sure if you google it you can figure out what cereal I mean.

Needless to say, it's not a big draw. Weeks later, no one had touched it. But yesterday, I was hungry and that was pretty much the only thing that looked remotely palatable that we had in the house. I poured a bowl of it and took it to the living room, taking the box with me for refills if I was still hungry after the first serving. This gave me the opportunity to ponder the slogan.

I mean, what a weak effing slogan. Who looks at the cereal shelves in the grocery store and says, "Hmmm. That cereal looks okay, but it only tastes like corn. And that one looks okay, but it only tastes like rice. If only some genious would combine those flavors, they'd have a taste sensation!"

I actually meant to write about that yesterday, before the 'Skins loss gave me nothing better to talk about. But I put the first bite of cereal in my mouth, expecting to hate it and have some really good, snarky thoughts about how both rice and corn tastes were not enough to satisfy.

But damned if it doesn't actually taste pretty good. Who knew? I can't decide which side I like better. I actually tore a couple of them apart and tasted them separately, and I'm pretty sure the side that's more yellow is the corn side. Why I would do this, I can't tell you. But now that I don't have a football team to follow actively (for many months, anyway) I think I will have plenty of time for other cereal investigations. Keep your eyes open for my expose on the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

Jailbreak

Another first: I left the house, with the baby, without another adult, this morning.

The lady who taught our Lamaze course runs a first-time moms group twice a month, and this was the first opportunity for me to take myself and the B to it. (She was too young to venture out two weeks ago.)

As a side note, I know the baby loves me. I know this because she has developed sleep-related separation anxiety. She is having trouble sleeping apart from me or from the mister, so much so that even if I lay her down while she's asleep, when she hits a blip in her 20-40 minute long newborn sleep cycle, she wakes up enough to realize she's not lying on her mom or dad and she gets very uncertain and sad. It is lovely to be needed like this and I will miss this sort of desperate love and need she has for us when she is 16 and hates me, but it leads to me having very very little sleep as a general rule.

Given that, when it was 6:00 a.m. and I'd gotten about forty-five minutes of sleep (that is not an exaggeration) and I'd have to get up around 8:30 to get us out the door to make the group meeting, I really didn't think I'd be able to go. She went reluctantly to sleep around 7 a.m., and I fell asleep soon afterward, having disengaged the alarm clock. As it turns out, she woke up at 8:30 on her own and wanted a change and some food, so I ended up awake right when the alarm would have gotten me up had I not turned it off when I thought I'd have to call the trip off.

A shower and a little food later (for both of us) and I felt awake enough to drive, so I packed up the car with the nine thousand things you have to have with you when you have a newborn and headed to the hospital, where the group meets.

It was really nice to get out of the house, nice to have her with me, scary to have her in a rear-facing car seat where I couldn't see her, and REALLY nice to meet some other people in the same sleep-deprived, shell-shocked, still-getting-used-to-being-a-mom place that I'm in right now. I'm still tired, but now I don't feel quite so run over by life as I did at 5 a.m. when she just wouldn't settle down apart from me.

And in a little bit of serendipity, the speaker this session was a lady who was there to talk about sleep schedules, separation anxiety, and discipline problems. I picked up a few ideas that may help the B sleep by herself for a few hours at a time, or at least begin to help her not be so frightened or lonely when she comes out of one of her short little sleep cycles, which is the first step toward her being able to put herself back to sleep.

Also, there were some bigger babies there. I hear they get bigger than B is now. I'm not buying it. I keep looking at those 3M clothes in her closet and I can't imagine her ever getting that big. Her newborn stuff is still kinda loose on her, for heaven's sake, and she's really only supposed to be two weeks old right now.

Oops. Someone's ready for lunch.

The Best Offense is a Good Defense

This is Sean Taylor, a Redskins safety, scoring what was essentially the winning touchdown in the game this afternoon.

Boy, am I happy to say that the Skins have won their first playoff game in a very long time. This is the web I'm connected to and I could go look up when the last win was, but I figure that if you care, you could do the same thing. Who am I to ruin your fun with Google?

However, all that being said, it would have been nice if the Redskins could manage to score an honest-to-FSM offensive touchdown in a playoff game against the Bucs. Yes, I know one of the touchdowns was technically an offensive touchdown, but having one of your running backs take it in from the four or five after LaVar Arrington gets it inside the ten for you doesn't really count in my book.

If you were to go and look up, wherever these things are kept, a run down of the last playoff game between the Redskins and the Bucs, you would discover that the Bucs won it 14-13 and that the one TD scored by the Skins was done by Brian Mitchell, and it was either a punt or a kickoff return. That happened to be the day that Phase 6 came to our old apartment (this was a long time ago) to help us install our satellite dish.

As you can see, I have a crystal clear memory of that day. Perhaps now I can let it go, now that the Skins are moving to the next round, where they are slated to play a team they've already beaten in the regular season, in OT.

Hasselbeck, they're comin' for you! Whoo!

Playoffs, Biaotches

I can't believe it. I don't know how they'll do or what will happen, nor do I feel like speculating.

But.

My team is finally in the playoffs again. And they don't have to rely on Dallas to do anything. Ah, it's good.