Reflections on Being Pregnant

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I have felt sick, I am not kidding you, about 60% of the time since the hunger for hot wings went away a couple of weeks ago. I can't sleep, both because I'm used to being medicated to do it and because I worry.

All the time.

I realize that's not "good for the baby", but I am a worrier and that's all there is to it. I worry about my family history, and that maybe we shouldn't have told anyone for a few months in case something happens. They warned me this wouldn't be easy for me, and they're right, in spades. It's not easy, in just about any way I can think of to describe it. I worry that I haven't been getting good enough nutrition, but when your body chucks just about everything back, I'm not sure what the alternative is.

Also, you get the most advice from people who either have never been pregnant, or were pregnant but didn't have the side effects that you do.

"Well, I never had morning sickness, but if you'd just eat about twenty ginger snaps as soon as you wake up in the morning, you'd be fine."

"Oh, honey, the worst will be over soon." - From a girl who's never been pregnant.

I know I'm being cranky. I know there are people who would give their left arm to be where I am. Be careful what you wish for. I was once told, many years ago, when I was in much worse health, that it might not be a realistic idea for me to have a baby.

That doesn't exactly help you get to sleep at night.

I'm sure it will all be fine, and even if it's not in the short term, it will be in the long. Or maybe a comet hits the earth tomorrow and none of it will matter. Shrug. Who can say? Not me. Just don't ask me about it at 4:15 in the morning.