The Infrastructure Here Is Crap

Sorry, I'm mad; bear with me. This city really sucks.

First, the sales tax is something like 8% here. I keep goggling when I hear totals at cash registers, because I kind of add things up as I go along and then estimate the tax. Old habit from my college days when I usually only had $20 on me to pay for the groceries and I had to come in under that. Eight freaking percent? The roads should be gold-paved! And this is a red state, friends. Where they supposedly aren't "tax and spend". Hah.

I just looked at the estimated property tax on this house. It's comparable, on a per-square-foot basis, to what we were paying in the old city. Except that, in the old city, that amount included trash collection, something we're paying for here.

Next on my hit parade is the fact that I have to drive fifteen miles to get a property tax waiver so I can register my car. I have an office that does registrations about two miles from the house, and they can do everything EXCEPT issue this bogus waiver. It seems to me to be just an excuse to charge new state residents an extra $10. The ladies in the (outsourced) license office were great, got me my license quickly and easily, and commisserated that the waiver is a bullshit requirement. I can only assume they were good and efficient only because they do not work directly for the bureaucracy that infects all who come into contact with it.

And finally, last Friday, we got an infraction notice from the city because we didn't buy a $25 bullshit occupancy permit that we didn't know about and no one told us about. I was further informed that we were "illegally living in [our] house" which we paid nearly a quarter of a million dollars for a couple of months ago. Hey, hey. I haven't felt like a radical since I went to a protest in downtown Boston when I was 20.

When I innocently asked for directions to city hall (not way downtown at least, the local one) I was run an incredible 'tude that included this interaction. Keep in mind that I was biting my cheek and trying to be humorously self-deprecating to get this lady to help me. I'm really bad with directions, which I cop to without reservation on relevent occasions. I think I started with, "Can you tell me where I need to go? I'm horrible with directions and I might ask some questions."

Her: "Go to <main road I know how to get to.> Then turn at the Phillips 66."
Me: "Right or left?"
Her: "<sigh> Right."
Me: "Do you know the name of that cross street?"
Her: "<heavier sigh> I think it's <name of street>."
Me: "Okay, what side of the street is the building on?"
Her: "It's City Hall, you can't miss it."
Me: (thinking, 'Doesn't she work there? Is it so hard to say left or right?') All right. What does it look like?"
Her: "It's behind <name of shopping center I already told her I didn't know by name>."
Me: "Great. What color is the building?" (thinking, 'Maybe if I ask direct questions I have a better shot at getting an actual answer.')
Her: "<great big heavy sigh, like she gets a bonus for each one> It's stone. Kind of grey."
Me: "Well, thank you. I'll get that taken care of."
Her: <hang up unceremoniously>

Jesus. I'm sorry you had a fight with your boyfriend or whatever, but you honestly shouldn't be in a job where you occasionally have to talk to people and dispense information. I can be cranky (big surprise there) but for heaven's sake...even when the cable company and I were in daily contact when we first moved in because they were utterly unable to deliver all of the services I wanted to get from them and kept changing their story about what the problem was, I never got shirty with them.

I wouldn't be shocked if someone came by and told us we needed permits for the plants in the yard or something like that. I'm sure it will be $3.50 per plant, $4.00 for trees, and I'll have to drive 45 minutes to some bad neighborhood somewhere to get my permit in person. Bitches.