Cabinetgate

An emotional, hormonal, slightly off-kilter pregnant woman should never go to an estate sale when she has to leave the house to allow potential buyers to walk through it and decide not to buy it. Odd things happen when friends let friends go to estate sales.

I bought a perfectly lovely little table for $10. It fit in the back seat of my car. I also purchased a lighthouse stained glass thingie that I will refuse to list here what I paid for it because one of the people I gave it to will read this. (It didn't break the bank though, don't worry.) It really should have stopped there.

I passed what is known in the estate sale biz as the "bid box" in the kitchen on the way out with my stuff. Then I remembered the cabinet that was in the kitchen that I saw first thing when they finally called my number and let me in the house.

I put in what I felt sure was a too-low bid on the cabinet and left without really thinking about it. I have no idea how I thought I would get that cabinet back to my house in the event that they decided to sell it for me for my proposed price. I honestly thought it would sell for its marked price and that would be the last I would see of it.

Well...that picture of the cabinet above was taken in my garage, so I think you can all see that I did have to think about that cabinet again.

I got a call while I was over at CK and LWC's and picked it up HOPING it was my agent telling me there was an offer on my house. Instead, it was a nice lady telling me I could buy the cabinet for my ridiculously low bid price if I could finagle find someone to help me with it.

We ate dinner and I ruminated on this. The cabinet will be helpful in the new house. I have movers coming who will move it for us with no additional fuss when we head out. If I could get it back to the house, it would be a win/win. I tried to think of people I know who have access to appropriate vehicles, but as I am already busy carrying the baby, I also had to find someone who wouldn't mind carrying most of the weight of a cabinet for two pretty short stretches.

I thought for a bit, and remembered my friend from Tennessee's hatchback with fold-down seats. You should really never buy a vehicle like this, or desperate pregnant women will call you and ask for favors you don't owe them. He agreed, I was delighted, and the pickup basically went without a hitch. My friend (who I'm not mentioning here by name because I don't know his policy on using his name online) was a real trooper because it was crowded at the sale and sort of warm for moving furniture largely on one's own. He also had to drive down General Booth with the back of his car hanging open, and did an absolutely splendid job. And finally, he was the only one of the two of us smart enough to realize the cabinet had a built-in light and was still tethered to the wall by the cord as we were trying to move it out of the house where I bought it. So, smart and helpful!

I did take him to lunch to thank him, but as he will probably read this, thank you again! My cabinet thanks you! The mister thanks you! Thank you for enabling my temporary estate sale-induced insanity. I promise I won't do it again. Honest.

(I don't think there are any good estate sales next weekend anyway.)

Everyone is being really nice right now and stepping in to help and I would really just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have offered or given me help during this stressful transition time. I won't be here too much longer for you to call the favors back, so I know it is especially selfless.

Like Floss for the Mind

So, CK's LWC and I were watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban today and I remembered something I'd wondered about the last time I watched it.

You know when you see someone in a movie and you think, "What else have I seen them in?" I had that very familiar, universal moment when Mrs. Weasley was clucking over Harry in the pub near the beginning of the movie. It took a moment to place it, but I suddenly realized that she was probably Rita from Educating Rita. I meant to IMDB it, but I forgot to do it just then.

I finally remembered to check on it tonight, and as some of you may already be thinking, "How could she not know that was the same person?" I should tell you that she is indeed the same person.

Even though I was pretty sure I was right even before I checked, I still felt that tiny little moment of relief and triumph when I confirmed it. What is it that silly little things like that can make you feel so much more clear? It's like proof that your brain is still working, still finding connections and patterns.

Mindless Bitching

I took a nap this afternoon, after sort of a weird, restless night. I fell asleep around 1:15 p.m., awoken only at about 1:50 p.m. when my cellular rang.

It was our realtor. I just had this weird feeling when I picked it up that it wasn't "there's an offer on your house," but something annoying instead. I was right about that.

"You're at work, aren't you? I'm just double-checking."

"No, I told you that I'd given my notice and I wasn't going to work again."

(I'm thinking, in the back of my mind, "Isn't that why we stressed that it was really important for you to give me as much notice as possible about people making appointments?" I remember talking to her about this on Monday. I realize we aren't her only concern, but if she can't remember that one thing, I'm sure there's someone who can.)

"Oh, no! There's someone coming between 2 and 3."

I think I just blinked a few times and looked at the clock again. It said 1:53. I had been drooling into my pillow about four minutes before that. The house wasn't really set up at all (all the lights on, all that BS) and my laptop was sitting open on the bed (we don't leave it in the house during showings...too easy to steal).

"Do you want me to call them?"

"Uh, yeah," I told her, with what I'm sure was a 'duh' tone of voice.

She did call them and she bought me some time. I got dressed, packed up the computer, got into the car, and drove away to my safe haven (thanks CK and LWC!) I stayed there until I felt the coast was clear, playing Mario Kart Double Dash (damn Bowser combo kept challenging me). Got home and got settled again, only to have my phone ring again. It was the realtor again.

"I just got a voice mail telling me some people want to see your house, but it sounds like they're on their way over there now! I'm going to call them back but I wanted to tell you just in case they showed up there in the next few minutes."

I had just enough time to complain to the mister on instant messenger when my phone rang again.

"Ah, it sounds like they want to come tomorrow. And someone else wants to come between 9-11 in the morning. Okay?"

Won't someone please just buy this bitch so I don't have to leave my bloody house for random blocks of hours? It is a real pain in the ass when things are in such flux and I am really feeling run down and tired all the time. This is part of why I was looking forward to having some time where I wasn't working before the move, so I could rest up a bit.

It is not really working out that way.

Whine whine whine.

I'm beginning to hate every single wall, door, and nail in this place.

The Whammy

First off, those of you whom I saw last night, it was a great time. Thank you for putting up with my heartburn troubles when I first got there. I am really, really glad that it subsided enough for me to truly enjoy being there and have a good time.

Also, I know why you should never talk about the no-hitter now. We got word last night that an offer on the house would be coming through today. We told several people about it and I actually let the feeling of relief wash over me.

Hah! Chump.

I had a call on the answering machine when I got home from the airport that the offer would be written this afternoon instead of this morning, so I didn't really start to feel oogy about it until five o'clock rolled around. Six o'clock...seven. At eight I talked to the mister, and we decided one of us should call our realtor. I'd been holding off because I believed she wouldn't sit on new information. I mean, if she knew something, she'd call, right?

Well, it turns out I am not the center of the universe (I'm as shocked as the rest of you) and she was tied up this afternoon and early evening showing a house. I did get that trademarked, realtor "Oh, I was just about to call you..." thing when she picked up, so at least I got a laugh out of it.

Turns out there was some sort of glitch in the financing of people who have been to our house FOUR TIMES now. You would think in the week or so that it takes you to come to the same house four times you would make sure your loan is in place before you give us fifteen minutes to get out of our house so you can "look at it one more time" before you put in your offer. Not that I'm bitter about being tossed out in the middle of a really bad bout of heartburn.

Our realtor got the impression that it is possibly a problem that can be worked out tomorrow when they have another chance to speak with their lender, but for heaven's sake, they didn't have much luck with it today, did they? Plus, she's scheduled a showing for tomorrow...there were none today, I suspect because we thought there was a solid offer coming in. I don't think the new showing is a good sign that she really believes this first offer will really come through.

I really wanted to squeeze a contract in before the possible local base closing could make all of our property values go down and cause some rather interesting real estate problems for us on the Gateway City end of things. But the debate is supposed to go on tomorrow and it seems to be spooking some buyers.

Insert heavy sigh here.

I keep telling myself it'll sell, but it sure would be nice to be able to actually relax in my house instead of having to be ready to leave on a moment's notice and have it in perfect showroom condition at all times. I miss being able to leave dishes in the sink for a bit if I had to.

One more thing, just a warning. If you are around me between now and when I pull up stakes and join the mister under the arch, don't drink out of my water glass. I'm pretty much nursing baking soda water 24/7 these days, since it seems to help keep the heartburn at bay. Not that it helped last night until it was just a bit too late, but I'll do anything to keep that flaming hot pike out of my chest. That includes drinking water that smells and tastes like Formula 409. Urk.

Where Were You on the Night Of...?

10 years ago today: August 22, 1995
I was still in Northern Virginia. I googled that date and it looks like it was a Tuesday, so I'm going to assume I was at work. Back then, I worked far too many hours at my job, mostly because I was more bored at home than I was there. I believe I was just starting to dig myself out of the financial hole I was in after my sister moved out of the apartment we shared. She did it without any forewarning while I was at work one day, leaving me with stacks of bills I thought had been paid. I think that was in July, so the timing on that should be just about right.

5 years ago today: August 22, 2000
I was probably just about nearing the most I'd ever weighed in my life, right around 210 pounds. This was apparently also a Tuesday according to the day of the week calculator I found on the all-mighty IntarWeb, so I'm going to again assume that I showed up for work. The highlight of the work day was probably walking over to the mall to have lunch in the food court with the SA guys. I'm going to guess that I was still eating fried food and a salad with two containers of bleu cheese dressing for lunch, since my weight was still on the upswing. If there was a new Buffy episode that night, it was probably the horrible Buffy vs. Dracula, so I'm just going to pretend the season hadn't started yet.

1 year ago today: August 22, 2004
This may actually have been the day of the State Championship Time Trial bicycle race. Suffice it to say, I had lost the weight by then. I ended up coming in third but getting the silver due to a registration technicality. I really wanted to win, but knew deep down I wouldn't. In the end, I was just glad to finish the thing in the 98 degree heat and do as well as I did.

yesterday: August 21, 2005
Woke up feeling not as sick (got a little cough/cold thing going since the plane flights home) as the day before. I found I could actually talk without my throat threatening to burst into flames! Spent the morning readying the house for possible buyers (again) and then hid out at CK and LWC's. They graciously allowed me to drool on their couch for a bit (I tend to nap a bit these days) and then there was football and Mario Karting and chinese food. A good time, although I fear they may be getting a bit weary of me for those eight hour stretches while I hide out from the potential buyers.

Came home. Watched the last episode of Six Feet Under ever, finding out how and when everyone on the show was destined to die. Watched Entourage with the mister, but left to retire to the bedroom when he turned on the kryptonite. Promptly got heartburn, the new joy of the second trimester. Nothing worked for hours until the mister couldn't stand to see me writhing anymore and went out at 1 a.m. in search of the three things I'd read about that are safe to take that might help: baking soda, milk, and Tums. Sadly, it seems the true remedy is a large spoonful of baking soda dissolved in a little water and drunk before you can think about how nasty it is. Killed the pain in less than 10 minutes, then staved it off again this morning at 6 a.m. when it threatened to come back.

tomorrow: August 23, 2005
Tomorrow I have to put my husband on a plane so he can start his new job. I don't see him again until September 9th. I will be spending time between here and my parents'. Other than the excuse to go see my parents, I am quite unhappy at the prospect of such a long separation.

5 snacks I enjoy
You mean now, or before I was pregnant? I'll go with "all time" stuff, after which you will see how I got to 210 pounds. 100 Grand bars, Juicy Pear jelly bellies, Swedish Fish, Mushrooms and Bleu Cheese dressing, anything but Corn Flakes out of the sugary cereal variety pack.

5 bands that I know most of their lyrics
Wish I could help you out there. Pretty much just Queen.

5 things I'd do with a million $$
Pay off a house so I could get rid of one bill a month, invest, put a GPS in my car, redo the kitchen of the paid off house with light oak cabinets and real marble countertops, put a computer in every room hooked up to a T1.

5 places I'd run away to
Honestly, I don't like to travel that much. There are a few places I wouldn't mind spending a week in. Disneyland/Disneyworld (doesn't matter which), London, Milan, the Smithsonian warehouse of things that don't fit in the museums, and Hogwarts.

5 bad habits I have
My temper, talking too much and not letting everyone else have a go, procrastination, too easily given over to frustration, and biting my cheek when I'm nervous.

5 things I like doing
Games, staying home in the quiet, watching television, reading, pondering.

5 things I wouldn't wear (Halloween costumes excepted)
Tube tops, fishnet stockings, stiletto heels, wool (allergic), a bikini.

5 TV shows I love (mostly defunct, sadly)
Veronica Mars, Entourage, The Tick, Sports Night, Max Headroom.

5 movies I love
I should just take my top 5 from the my top 50 list, but I'm going to switch it a bit to the current stuff, the ones I know will change as soon as my mood changes. Yes, one of these isn't out yet, but the anticipation of it is as good as the memory of any other movie I can think of.

Empire (but you're killing me, George Lucas), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, The Two Towers, Love, Actually, and Woman of the Year.

5 famous people I'd like to meet
Lord, I suck at talking to famous people. I think I prefer to leave them famous and afar. Anyone I've ever met in person has become that little bit less interesting than they were before.

5 biggest joys at the moment
The mister, when the baby moves, when I don't have heartburn or nausea, naps, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

5 favorite toys
Laptop, TiVo, wireless router, digital camera, Google.

5 people to tag
The Mister (he's my husband, I can re-tag if I want to)
Brad
Karzender
Dr. Heimlich
Kindralas

And Yet, More Kvetching

All I seem to hear about we irresponsible Americans is that we're impulse buyers, carrying more debt than is reasonable, acting quickly and without adequate intellectual reflection.

Why, then, do we have people ringing our doorbell at 9 a.m. and asking questions about the house because our agent didn't answer her phone on the first ring, yet our house has been on the market for a week with no contracts yet?

I know a week doesn't sound like very long. It is an eon compared to how quickly things went in this real estate market in the recent past. I know the price isn't too high, as we have what those in the know like to call "comps", houses we can use as a comparison to set the price of this one. I do think it's a ridiculous price for a house of this size, but this is supposedly the price that the market can bear.

I'm starting to think we're getting reamed because of the possible closure of the largest training air base on the East Coast, just miles away from here.

For those of you following along at home, our agent is going to ask for the couple who are only qualified for 94% of the asking price to make their best offer. Hopefully they haven't found anything in the meantime...although, I'm not picky. Hopefully we just get a contract today or tomorrow.

Yes, I'm in a hurry, and yes, we don't close on the second house until September 14, but I'm not much for uncertainties. Impatient? Yes. Whiny? Probably. Unreasonable? Perhaps.

In other news, I caught some sort of scratchy throat/stuffy ear thing on the plane on the way home. Honestly, that recirculated air is a breeding ground for every creeping crud from people far and wide. I woke up feeling not as bad as I did last night, and I feared it would be the opposite. You know how it either gets better or worse on the second day, and you can tell from there how long you'll be bothered with (alcohol and menthol free, of course, for the baby) cough drops and kleenexes? So this was the better outcome there. It will still suck when I have to pull up roots and vacate the house so it can be shown to yet more people who will neglect to put in an offer for it.

Part of me wishes we could get away with asking to see people's pre-approval letters before I actually get out of bed and leave the house for a half hour. I mean, if your qualification doesn't even come close, aren't we all just wasting our time? Trust me, our house is not as interesting as a museum. If you are looking for a pleasant way to spend a half hour, there are many more interesting things to do than gawk at our linoleum.

Or am I just being cranky? I can never tell.

Update

Okay, they weren't as fucking nuts as I first thought. Remind me to tell you all about the time some people asked us to lose $400 a month renting our house back to them after they sold it to us until December mutherfucking 7th. For those of you without a calendar handy, that would be THREE AND A HALF MONTHS from now. Coincidentally, it would also be within a month of my due date! Handy!

They gave it up when we met them more in the middle on the price. Why do we keep buying houses from high-maintenance people building their next house new and wanting us to give them the world as well as a large pile of money for their house?

On the much brighter sides, 50% of the house logistics are done, we do have a nice, well-cared for house waiting for us after we close, and we have a lovely view from the backyard (above). You can even see the very sturdy, fun-looking play equipment in that picture that will be conveying for Pavel to play on.

Now all we have to do is sell the house back at our current home base so we don't actually have to go ahead with this stupid bridge loan to close on the second house. I need opinions.

We are making more money on our house than anyone should after only having it for three years. We have one couple interested in it who are only approved for a loan of 94% of our asking price. I should note this is in a market where nearly everything goes for asking price if you wait long enough (anywhere from 3 days to 2 months these days). Do we ask the couple to make their best offer just so we can pull the trigger, or do we keep showing the house and let them find another one, possibly to wait another couple of months for the "right" buyer with the right level of approval.

I'm inclined to just ask for the offer. The mister is coming around to my way of thinking. My father-in-law agreed with me right away. The only person who seems against it is our realtor, and it is not impossible that she is protecting her commission a bit, but it seems more likely that she is just thinking more money is likely around the corner and two months isn't that long to someone who who doesn't have to worry about logistics of bridge loans and moves and putting cats on airplanes and giving birth to babies before the end of this year. I personally think I have enough complications and stress, why not give up some money we never had in the first place, money so unreal to me that it literally feels as though it would come out of a monopoly box, to inject a little simplicity into this whole, "let's move 990 miles across the country and away from all our friends" procedure.

Okay, so I'm trolling for opinions. Ask for the offer? Or wait? I need some more views to bounce off my own.